Dream Blog for December 22, 2006

Went to sleep this morning at around 7:30 am after getting home from work.

Before I start this entry, let me just preface by saying that I’m a fan of Jewel (the beautiful and very talented singer). You’ll see how this applies to the dream. I forgot to write this down in my journal, because I woke up and was in total awe about the dream itself. Shame on me, and I will recount what I remember.
Here’s the dream:

I am best friends with Jewel. We are as close as any best friends can be. Think “My Best Friends’ Wedding”, and that’s about how it is. Very close, share all our secrets, etc. I decide that I am madly in love with her, and want to be more than friends, blah blah. I get a nice bouquet of flowers and go to her to tell her. I end up spending some time there, I seem to recall. There is another guy there with us, a friend of ours. No idea who he is. All of a sudden, as I am about to tell her how I feel, this guy (let’s just call him ‘DORK’), gets on his knees and proposes. She is happy, and says yes, and I swallow my words, and say, “I’m happy for both of you.” They must be able to tell that something is wrong, by the way I dropped the flowers on the floor, and start what I think must be hyperventilating (ED: I’m not sure, as I’ve never hyperventilated, or had asthma). I then say again, “I’m happy for you.” I feign a smile, then run out of the room. I end up running into what is a high-school gymnasium, and I hear Jewel running after me. I hide behind the bleachers, and think “I hope she doesn’t find me back here.” So, naturally, she finds me there. We end up talking for hours, and I express to her how I feel, and tell her, “I’ve known you lots longer than him, and I LOVE you”. And we basically affirm our love for each other (as very best friends), and she tells me that she’s going to be very happy with her new fiance. I then woke up, feeling a strange mix of emotions.

Now, that is basically what I remember of the dream. This is likely the most emotionally power-charged dream I have EVER had. In order to get across the point of the emotions I felt, imagine a mix of despair, sadness, misery, depression, anger, and love.

Think of the final scene of “Phantom of the Opera” once Phantom realizes he can’t have Christine (If you’ve ever seen the live performance. The movie just can’t catch it properly).

Think of how Peter Parker likely felt in “Spider-Man 2” when it’s announced at the planetarium party that Mary Jane is engaged to the astronaut goofball.

I basically felt this stir of emotion for a few hours after I woke up. I ended up going to Jewel’s website and looking on Google to see if perhaps she HAD gotten engaged or something.

My wife is convinced that if I weren’t married to her, and if I had the chance to be with one celebrity, it would be Jewel. I’m not sure she isn’t right.

Does this mean I am an adulterer in my own mind? What causes dream emotion to carry over so strongly?

All I can say about it is “WOW”.